A taste:
The grand advertiser: No matter how unrelated, insignificant, and uninteresting this guy's research is, he'll find a way to link it to the topic of the seminar. And no one will give a shit. The speaker will pay lip-service to the question, but we've already died a little inside because the grand advertiser has wasted our time advertising the crap his lab studies.
And many more are suggested in the comments.
Any library-specific seminar attendees? The Piner for the Good Old Days of Card Catalogues comes to mind, but those tend to be more mythical than actual, in my experience.
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