Friday Fun: Hanging out in a Coffee Shop Edition

From Greedy, Greedy Algorithms, how not to be a poser:

1. No one gives a sh*t about your Mac laptop
   
2. No one wants to know the details of your frivolous cellphone conversations
   
3. When concluding a cellphone conversation, saying "goodbye" in a language other than the one you were conversing in is pretentious and stupid. Cool it.
   
4. Reading snobby general interest magazines doesn't automatically make you a world class intellectual
   
5. More syllables in your order doesn't make the beverage any better

Bitter, cruel, sarcastic, funny. Read the whole thing.