Friday Fun: Scoring guide for student whining

Via Ask Dr Kirk, comes this rather amusing little rubric for evaluating student whining prepared by Joseph A. Braun, Jr.

Let's take a look at the requirements to earn a perfect 6 in whining.

Purpose

The purpose of the whine is to get a group response.

The target of the whine responds immediately to the full intention of the whine.

The whine may have multiple purposes or targets.

Audience

There is full audience participation.

Your audience extends beyond the boundaries of the initial whine.

Quality

The whine was seemingly endless, possibly carrying on for days.

The pitch of the whine oscillated through the entire frequency range, beyond human hearing, causing neighborhood dogs to howl.

Full volume, audible over a jet engine at full throttle