March 27, 2009

Friday Fun: 50 Reasons No One Wants to Publish Your First Book

It's been a while since I picked up something from Bookgasm, but this one really caught my eye.

Although many of the reasons are decidedly NSFW (and hilarious), here's a few that are appropriate for a family blog:

4. Where are the vampires?

5. No, seriously, where are the vampires?

29. Everyone who attempts to load a copy of the manuscript onto their Kindle is found dead three hours later.

33. Writing a book about vegetarian zombies kinda indicates you don’t exactly know why people like zombies in the first place.

50. Again, I ask one last time, where are the freaking vampires?


Anonymous said...

Well gee, you make my literary efforts sound silly... I thought a novel about Cthulhu's secret love affair with Oprah would be great.

Unknown said...

"Because they threw away their annual budget on the new Lindsay Lohan autobiography, BOOKS ARE RETARDED."
Too true.

My favorite thing about the publishing industry is how happy the big houses are to release all these bad children's books written by Hollywood stars.

John Dupuis said...

And really, it's always the star you expect to be the least nurturing imaginable. Madonna?

What's next, Amy Winehouse? Marilyn Manson?